“Sorry, I have to watch the kids…” is a common phrase that I hear when I want to spend time with my friends with kids. As a single person with no mini-me’s, I truly despise this phrase. Numerous times I have the inclination to respond with the following:
“Listen, I know you have kids. I’ve been your friend for x-amount of years. I don’t think you kids should get in the way.”
I am wise enough to know that this would immediately end my so called friendship. However, how does one maintain a friendship with someone who has kids and one who doesn’t? How does one maintain the title BFF? Or is it BFF until we have kids? I think i may have a few recommendations to parents of the world.
Here are my few recommendations to maintain healthy relationships with your friends with no children. Number One. Get a Babysitter. I know that sounds very elementary, self-explanatory, and harsh, but you have to breathe once in a while too. Otherwise you’ll get burnt out. It’s very convenient for to place your kids somewhere while you’re at work, so why can’t you do the same when your best friend calls and wants to hangout?! Let’s not stop there.
Number Two. Call a Close Friend or Relative. Utilize your village. If your friends consider themselves your best friend, they are probably more than likely willing to take on this “challenge”. It’s not a far-fetched idea to ask a relative either. They love and like your pictures on social media, so they might as well be with the monster. I’m talking about your little tyke. Oh, but wait, there’s more.
Number Three. Bring Your Kids. Now I don’t mean bring your kids to the club, obviously. I mean bring your kids to the sporting event or concert, if age appropriate. They need to see how adults interact so they know what to do or not when they get older. It’s also a great way to show your friends if your children are as bad as you say they are. (It’s okay to laugh.) Additionally, then your friend can judge whether or not they want to babysit in the future.
Now, I don’t want anyone to misunderstand what I am saying. However, what I am saying is that there needs to be balance. When your kids eventually grow up, who are you going to call then to talk about why your kids are still in your house? Seriously, who are you going to call? Are you using your kids as an excuse to get out of spending time with your childless friends? I hope not…something to think about.
“We make time,
For what we love.
People will show you…
Your worth to them.”
-Joshua Ryan Stewart